Grandparent

The thought of being a grandparent floods you with joy and excitement.  The child you were blessed with, will soon be blessed with a child of their own.  Thoughts go back to when your parents were in the exact spot you are in.  My parents were great with my children their grandchildren.  They loved them, played with them, spent time with them and fully enjoyed them.  The added benefit was my children learned to love and enjoy their grandparents.  Though they did not fully understand how this precious time spent together would bond them for life, they were thrilled every time grandma and grandpa arrived to visit them, grandpa and grandma were thrilled to fill a void in their life that only can be filled through grandchildren.  

When you think of your role as a grandparent you relate it to the past.  Then reality shocks you into the present.  The truth is you have lost a huge part of yourself because you are not able to fill the roll of grandparent. You merely possess the title.  This does not result from a choice you made, but a choice by others that confines you to live within the limitations of their choice.  Everything is different.  You learn to feel profound sadness, then learn to  suppress it to the deepest darkest place imaginable.